I am a person of many hopes, dreams, and aspirations.
At the end of the day, I can only do those things as the person that I am.
But when you are on an ongoing journey to find out who you are and what your purpose is in this world, it can be lonely, frightening, and confusing.
A Portrait of Me: 2 of 6
Sometimes, when I look at the mirror, I see a broken man.
At other times, I see a confused soul.
But, most of the time, I see someone who is trying, and doing, his best simultaneously: hoping that his best is enough.
This, with the hope that the insecurities will eventually disappear.
A Portrait of Me: 3 of 6
But is self-love evil? Is it evil to appreciate the things about yourself that make you love yourself? Is it better to hate your own pride than to love your own skin? Is it really more ideal to have humility than to have serenity with who you are?
A Portrait of Me: 4 of 6
There comes a time where you must be selfish, and where you must be willing to throw away social conscience for the sake of personal conviction.
A Portrait of Me: 5 of 6
I must love my Brown skin, queerness, and my autistic sensibilities.
I must love my awkward appearance, my moral stances, and commitment to justice.
I must love my two cultures, my many talents, and my mission in life.
I must love who I am.
A Portrait of Me: 6 of 6
Without love, there's no meaning.
Without meaning, there's no growth.
Without growth, there's no life.
And without life, only death.
Face: 1 of 6
Faces are merely facades in forbearance.
Face: 2 of 6
Yet, we judge each other on meager appearance.
Face: 3 of 6
Embracing the beauty within ‐ stays in doubt.
Face: 4 of 6
Appearance - heuristic for our sakes without
Face: 5 of 6
Meaning to heart and the mind that's within.
Face: 6 of 6
So, kept inside, is the beauty: spread thin.
Different Dimensions: 1 of 6
Fantasy is just reality you know you'll never see.
Different Dimensions: 2 of 6
The mind is just conglomerate of the grind you always find.
Different Dimensions: 3 of 6
Memory is simply composed of the thoughts you never fought.
Different Dimensions: 4 of 6
Fiction is only diction: can't be real without the friction.
Different Dimensions: 5 of 6
Society breeds piety. But still, it is worth saving.
Different Dimensions: 6 of 6
Interdimensional travel already ravels deep within our minds.
My Creative Drive
My name is Chris Fornesa, the only person in the world with my full name and first name/last name combination.
While that does sound interesting, my name is rare. The surname "Fornesa" is only shared by two main groups: the larger group being Filipinos who are all related, while a smaller group consists of individuals of Latinoamerican and Spanish origin. We likely number below a thousand in sum and, with shared the histories of colonialism, white supremacy, and struggle, were likely on opposing sides of the Spanish-American war.
However, my story is modern. It is one that involves several "coming outs", stresses, struggle, desperation, cultural shifts, racism, and mental illness. It is one that makes me alike with most people in existence, but yet, this strange combination keeps me adrift and aloof from the rest of humanity, in a way.
Because of this, my lack of trust leaves me with few ways to be vulnerable and open up to others. However, when my vulnerabilities shine and my story is shared, I feel a little more free, a bit more confident, and a lot closer to my purpose in life.
Therefore, I feel it to be my mission in life to simply express myself, in all the glory that I have within me. To do so would be the revolutionary act of loving myself, regardless of others' views of my capacity to do so. No matter how much I suffer, I always find ways to defy my negative ways of thinking. Despite currently going to a conservative, Christian school online for my MS in IT (which for privacy reasons I will not reveal), I remain true to myself as a queer, autistic, disabled man of color. Despite getting evicted from our family home by an unfair legal system, I still graduated from the University of Houston with a 4.0 GPA, with a Liberal Studies degree and minors in Political Science, Studio Art, and Business Foundations. Regardless of all circumstances, I fight back, even when I feel that I have lost the strength to do so.
The most important thing to know about me is not my creativity, my talents, my intellect, or my accomplishments. The most important thing to know about me is the perseverance that I hold deep in my heart.
This gallery contains selected works created by myself, Chris Fornesa.
I am an artist with an eye for the interdisciplinary. As an artist, I enjoy using an array of media, techniques, and motifs that, altogether, serve the purpose of fulfilling my intent ‐ whatever that intent may be for that particular piece.
I am also a web designer/developer, with the aim of creating socially-conscious and creative custom websites that matter in both form and function.
My creative drive leads me to experiment with different media, methodologies, and styles. I describe my methods as a mixture of the scientific and, simultaneously, artistic. While I always seek out order within every medium and style, I reconcile analytical orderliness with creative muse through sheer practice and the exploration of ideas.
While my demeanor is often off-putting and doesn't seem to match my creations, it is just another part of me that, due to distrust in people, serves as a protective outer shell. However, in my work, the other dimensions of my soul can be found.
My artwork is derivative of passion and expression found deep within my soul. This is a portion of my real self that, although unexpected by most, is extremely open and lively.